Keeping Memories Alive

By: Elizabeth Grace - Updated: 11 Sep 2010 | *Discuss

 

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When someone dies, they leave behind a host of people who will hold memories of that person for the rest of their lives. Some people, especially children, fear that they will forget some important aspects of the relationship that they shared with the deceased, but there are steps that can be taken to help keep memories alive.

Photos, Tapes and Videos

If a death is anticipated, the terminally ill patient may want to create special photo books, tapes, or videos for the people that will survive them. Parents may wish to leave individualised messages for each of their children, expressing their love and offering any life advice that they would have hoped to someday deliver personally. Young children may feel especially comforted by hearing the familiar voice of a parent reading their favourite books to them or singing the songs that they once sung together. Videos can be even better, allowing survivors to not only hear, but see their departed loved one. These types of gifts will be appreciated by their recipients forever, allowing them to hold on to the importance and closeness of the relationship that they once enjoyed and in time, providing them with the opportunity to smile whenever they think of their lost loved one.

Sharing Stories

Sometimes, people refrain from talking about deceased friends and relatives for fear that they will make other people uncomfortable, but most often, survivors take comfort in recalling funny or touching stories involving someone that they miss. Remembering past times and then sharing those memories with others can solidify memories and help people tom open up and talk about lost loved ones of their own. In the beginning, talking about a deceased loved one can be painful but will help with the grieving process; after a time, many people find that sharing stories brings a sense of comfort and happiness, rather than overwhelming sadness.

Mementos

Personal possessions often have sentimental value, bringing back memories of a special person or a special time. Sometimes, the items that mean the most are the simplest things - a well-worn shirt, a music CD, or a knickknack that sat upon someone's dresser. Anything that serves as a reminder of a person that was loved can hold special meaning, so allowing loved ones to choose an item or two that they can keep will help to keep treasured memories alive.

Traditions

Most families have a number of traditions that bring them together. Continuing traditions after a family member has died can help the others to maintain strong bonds and to remember times past when the group was one person larger. Sharing stories about past gatherings, sorting and displaying photos of those get-togethers, and creating new memories are all ways to not only keep the deceased loved one a part of the present, but can help the family to heal, as well.

Death cannot erase a person from the heats and minds of those that they loved; it can only separate them physically. By making efforts to include memories, both happy and poignant, into the continuing lives of survivors, they can keep their loved one close at heart.

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