Supporting someone's final wishes
When someone you care about has a terminal illness, you may want to do more than simply be there for them. Many people find that helping to fulfil a loved one's wishes gives purpose during a difficult time and can create meaningful moments together.
For the person who is ill, and for those around them, things that once seemed like distant plans can suddenly feel urgent. Making these wishes happen can become a priority, though how this feels will be different for everyone.
Why last wishes matter
Most of us have things we hope to do one day. We put them off, assuming there will be time later. A terminal diagnosis changes that. The future feels less certain, and the things that were always meant to happen eventually may need to happen now.
These wishes vary enormously. One person might want to see a particular place or reconnect with someone they have lost touch with. Another might hope for a trip abroad or to meet someone they admire. What feels significant is deeply personal.
Fulfilling a wish may bring comfort, joy, or a sense of completion. For those helping to make it happen, there can be meaning in that too, though this is something each person experiences in their own way.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
How to find out what someone wants
Talking about wishes can feel awkward. Some people worry about upsetting the person who is ill, or about raising hopes that cannot be met. But many people with a terminal illness welcome the chance to talk openly about what matters to them.
These conversations do not need to be formal. Sometimes things come up naturally. Open questions can help: what would make you happy right now, is there anything you have always wanted to do, or is there someone you would like to see?
Listen without rushing to promise anything. Some wishes may be straightforward to arrange. Others may need more planning, support, or outside help. Honesty about what is possible can be a way of showing care and respect.
It is also worth remembering that wishes can change. What someone wanted a month ago may not be what they want now. Checking in gently from time to time can help.
Advanced care planning frameworks, such as the Preferred Priorities for Care document, can also help people express wishes that go beyond specific experiences, including how and where they want to be cared for.
Organisations and practical considerations
Several UK charities exist specifically to help grant wishes for people with life-threatening illnesses. Some focus on children, while others support adults or people of all ages.
- Make-A-Wish UK grants wishes for children and young people aged 3 to 17 with life-threatening conditions.
- Rays of Sunshine supports children up to age 18 living with life-threatening or life-limiting conditions.
- Willow Foundation helps adults aged 16 to 40 who are seriously ill, offering special days and experiences.
- Dreams Come True works with children and young people who have life-threatening illnesses.
These organisations typically have application processes and may need information from medical professionals. Waiting times and eligibility vary, so it is worth contacting them early.
Hospices and palliative care teams sometimes assist with wishes too, though their capacity to help will depend on resources and circumstances. Your GP or hospital team may be able to suggest options.
If arranging something yourself, think carefully about what is realistic. Consider the person's health, energy levels, and any medical needs. Some wishes may need to be adapted to suit changing circumstances.
Travel insurance for people with terminal illnesses can be difficult to arrange. Specialist providers such as Insurancewith or World First do offer cover, but terms, exclusions and premiums vary considerably. Check policies carefully before booking anything.
If costs are a barrier, some charities may help with funding. Crowdfunding is another option, though this will not suit everyone.
Throughout this process, looking after your own emotional wellbeing matters too. Supporting someone through their final wishes can be rewarding, but it can also be exhausting and painful. Asking for help when you need it is not a sign of failure.
He loves food and always been a chef all his life I would love for him to go to London and try gordon ramsay food would be amazing as he's a big fan
I would love it if I could have my garden finished for my wife was wondering if this could be possible as she has been a godsend to me throughout this diagnosis and she’s just found out her brother also has cancer in the lung just one less thing for her to worry about.
Sue
Absolutely heartbreaking to have to be writing this, but my friends husband has been given the news today that his cancer is terminal. He has bowel cancer and it has spread to his lungs. Unfortunately they did not catch it in time and the chemo treatment has been unsuccessful. I was just wondering if I could speak to my friend about his wishes and hopes then maybe he could fulfill these. I know time is limited so really wanted to try and give them some memories to cherish. They also have a 6 year old son, which after many years of trying through IVF they were blessed. As you can imagine he will need to have time with his Dad and memories to hold on to. I hope you can help! They have been unable to claim for any help with finances, as my friend has already had cancer and beaten it.
Thank you,
Donna Evans
Hope to hear back from you
Many thanks
I'm new & confused, I was diagnosed with having a cup cancer in my lung on dec13th the day before my 27th wedding anniversary,(so not a fantastic anniversary)we didn't know at the time what a cup cancer was , it's a secondary cancer off unknown prime ,they still cant find the primary cancer ,at the time I was given 8months to a year with treatment, I've started my at the start off January 2020 ,anyway as you would guess we didn't have a great Christmas for my family we didn't tell our twin girls (11yrs old ) about it till after Christmas , it was one off the hardest things to do, it broke my heart, .
Any it's all about making happy memories now & I was wondering if you could possibly make one off my wishes come true ? It's to spend some quality time with my family in a caravan somewhere nice to relaxe with the girls & my wife,
I would like to say a big thank you in advance.
I've accepted some dreams don't come true.
I have a friend who is in the last few months of his life , maybe 6 months or so
He has battled cancer for the last 12 years and now his body is riddled with the disease , he is such a lovely Man , he is a father & husband.
He absolutely loves Phil Collins and this is a request directly to Phil Collins or genesis , is there any greeting you can send him to thank him for his support of you all his life .
Thanks
My dad (62) Tony has metastatic advanced prostate cancer. This has spread to the bones in his spine, ribs, forehead and right femur.
My dad has always wanted to go to the island sark:
Sark is a part of the Channel Islands in the southwestern English Channel, off the coast of Normandy, France. It is a royal fief, which forms part of the Bailiwick of Guernsey, with its own set of laws based on Norman law and its own parliament. It has a population of about 500. Sark has an area of 2.10 square miles.
My mum and I are unable to pay for him to go and this is the only thing he wants to do. He’s always wanted to experience life without cars and traffic no street lights and seeing all the stars in the sky. He is desperate to go.
If you would be any help please get back to me. Or give me some advice on what I can do or other people who can help.
When I asked her what she always wanted to do, she replied: Go to the Houston TX rodeo. It might be in December.
I am hoping someone can grant her last dream. Thank you! Barb Zegar 651-354-9992. My email address is above.
My father has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The hospital can give him no treatment, they reckon he only has 2 to 3 months to live. The top off his bucket list is to have a tour round Glasgow Rangers Ibrox park with his 2 grandsons. Is there anything you can do to help this dream come true.
Regards
John
Many thanks
Lou
He's terminal ill with multiple health issues and at the minute is bedbound due to his colon cancer . We don't know how long he has left as it is his heart condition that will sadly take him .
They both was exposed to drugd by their biological mom. In 2001 i was diagnosis with rigjt breast cancer. I wennt through chemo and radiation. Every since then my health has spiral down. I am currently fighting Lupus, Congested heart failure, i have a pacemaker, anemia, HtN, blood clot in jugular vein, evulated. For multiplle myeloma, End Stage Renal Disease (dialysis) 3 times a week. Now a new problem my central vein constantly getting clogged. Have to get it unclogged 2-3times a month in order to get dialysis. I am dying and I know it. My money is very limited and if and when I pass my children will be homeless. My oldedt daughter lives with me and is helping. I wish that someone would help her get a stable home for them. Help her with a deposit or pay her rent in a nice place for a year. She desire to go to law school and to receive help will free her up to be able to focus. MY WISH IS TO HELPP MY FAMILY IN YHEIR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS. SO THEY WILL MOT BE HOMELESS. WE PRESENTLY ARE RENTING A HOUSE THAT COST 1375.00 MONTHLY. MY HEALTH IS FAILING AND I CAN NOT WORK. SS. IS ONLY 723 A MONTH.
My mom doesn't have much long. As the Dr said, we probably won't have her by next year. So I so want to fulfill her one and only wish.
My mom don't drink, so it's odd she got end stage cirrhosis of the liver. I could possibly even pay for myself, I just can't afford both of us.
Someone told me about this site and other's, so I'm reaching out for your help. Thank you, and please continue to pray for her. Thank you!
den 10 and 15 and I would love to make it come true but have no idea how to go about it or the cost. She deserves this last trip as she is a great person and a lovely mother and has hardly been out of the house in two years
I'm trying to find somebody to help me fill a dying wish for him. He says he doesn't want to go anywhere he just needs to get his affairs in order. I need him to have some kind of fun. If anybody has any ideas what can help me I'd greatly appreciate it .
Thanks for reading.
Anita
I would love to give her and her family that are here with her that "one last Christmas " nothing extravagant or over the top. Just one extra memory for her girl to keep with her.
Where and how do I find help to do this please?
My daughter is physically disabled has stiffness in her 4 llimbs she needs to be cared 24 hours. This would be a life time holiday would be very grateful if you can support us.
Many thanks
The advice I'm seeking is A wish fullfillment, It was always her wish to Take her Grand Kids to Florida (they are 2yrs old and 3) To go to Harry Potter at Universal. We were waiting until the Kids were older, and so we could save up to afford it. Time has been taken from us. So now, I would like to make this happen for her, but she is SO unwell, the logistics and medical support we would require is beyond my knowledge. Can someone help. We can pay for some of the costs, (and I would be willing to pay it off for the rest of my life hereafter, if it meant we could do this for her) can we get Her to Florida with her grand Kids? Can anyone help. Time is short. We'd need a lot of help arranging medical people, and special hospitality from the airlines and parks etc. It really would be a wish/dream.
Would love to take her to Las Vegas as she has dreamed of going over for a long time, and also New York at Christmas time. We know we would need to take a nurse with us too to help look after her and make sure she is okay.
She copes very well when she is having her good weeks, and makes the most of the time she has, visiting family when we can do, and to go to the cinema too, even though it is uncomfortable for her at times, and she sometimes falls asleep, but is so happy to get out and about while we can. Even with limited funds, we do the best that we can do, I have even given up work to look after her full time. She enjoys once a week going to the local Marie Curie Hospice for day therapies and to meet friends that she has made.
I know she'd love to meet her favourite Actor, Kevin Costner (probably never happen) and she would also love to meet David Coulthard, the ex F1 racing Driver.
Please help if you can do, thank you
Christmas has always been our mummy's favourite time of the year.
As we grew up this never changed.
Our bedrooms became "family bedrooms" so boyfriends,husbands and then our children could spend Christmas with us at mum and dads and we could all be together. Mum spent months planning this. Cooking, cleaning, shopping & wrapping and we would all turn up spend christmas trashing the house and eating them out of house and home then reluctantly leave always having had "the best Christmas ever"
When our children got bigger and had boyfriends of their own we simply could no longer fit and had to take it in turns to spend Christmas at mums. This never really sat well with her and every year she talked about renting a big house and spending Christmas together again.
As with most things in life the years have flown by and we don't seem to have managed to get ourselves organised and make mums dream come true but this year things have changed and a different C word once again rocked our world.
On July 1st 2016 the bottom fell out of our world. We were given the devistating news that our beautiful mummy has terminal cancer. She has signet ring endocarcinoma of the small bowel which has spread to her bones and there is no cure.
We have screamed, cried, crumpled in a heap and panicked at the thought of carrying on without her in our lives but we don't have a choice.
So just as our kind, loving,caring mum has taught us we picked ourselves up, and together worked out how we are going to deal with this life changing news.
And this is how we are going to do it.......
We will make every second count.
We will love and support each other every step of the way.
We will make memories to carry with us forever.
We will make as many of her dreams come true as we can.
and that's why we have made this page.
We are going to try and raise some money so we can spend this Christmas together.
Please help us if you can x
Kind regards
Zoe Barlow
Kind regards
Zoe Barlow
Thank you!
To say I am gutted would be an understatement. I'm 24 and I know my dad will never see me marry or see my children.
We absolutely love going car shopping together and getting out and about on days out.
If we could get a grant for a family dad out I know he would be over the moon.
Sacha
To go to a rod Stewart concerned that will help me and my husband we would have a really good time and will get there a few hours sorting to make sure everything is
which is around 7lb overweight
. Then there is a tummy or boob job
3 children, 18,14,and 3.. I would love for his family to have one last happy memory before he passes.. thank you for reading this,
Isaac Jackson, Spanish fork UT.
How do I go about getting her a weekend away with her family for one last time , she doesn't want much
Somewhere close to the new Forest
Can anyone help me to give her a last wish
THANKYOU for reading this
Myself and Lucy are looking to go on a cruise holiday at the end of the year, taking her dad with us. May be the last ever holiday she gets to go on with her dad. We've booked it for November, and need to have it paid off by August.
But we've not got quite enough in savings at the moment and to save enough between now and August means us living almost literally on peanuts, because we don't get a great deal in disability, once living costs etc are taken into account.
I want to give Lucy, and her dad, the best holiday ever. One to remember, as given her terminal cancer diagnosis this may be the last chance they get to share a holiday together. And I'd like to do it without losing our quality of life (such as it is).
Please, help if you can.
Thank you.
As we speak she is lying on her death bed.
we all thought she was going to last longer as she has gone through her process so well and strong.
I don't know if anyone else has tried to grant her a last minute wish but would like her to die a happy woman as sister to us 3 girls daughter to our mother and mother to her 2 sons as well as a grandson.
I know she loves nature especially animals. she used to be a member of the wildlife association and her favourite was pandas.
I think knowing she is about to die and I live 240 miles from her and not able to get down is devasting and cant imagine how she is or if she would feel better for me going down. But m younger sister has said that she knows we are all sending her our love.
She had a cat called Garfield but has had to go and live with someone else.
And although she is in a hospital I think probably the best thing we could offer her would be if she was allowed to see him one last time before her death as is not even going to make it home to die soon.
PLEASE CAN YOU HELP MAKE OUR DEAR SISTER FEEL HAPPIER BEFORE HER DEATH!
May all the people who have posted on here with sick loved ones find what they need. I know how hard it is to see someone you love hurting.
Thank You
Tweety
WHAT IS EHLERS-DANLOS SYNDROME?
Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a group of inherited conditions that affect collagen proteins in the body causing them to be weak.
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Collagen is a building block that strengthens and supports various body tissues - it is found in tendons, ligaments, cartilage, skin, bone, blood vessels and the spine.
EDS is caused by alterations in certain genes - these can be passed from parents to their children.
The condition affects at least one person in every 5,000 in the UK.
There are various different forms of EDS. All share some common features, such as loose joints, abnormal skin and fragile body tissues, but each form of EDS has unique characteristics too.
The most severe form is Vascular EDS which causes the organs and blood vessels to be at risk of rupturing - this can be fatal.
Since been with my partner we've wanted to get married and could only dream about it , as bringing up 3 children has been a struggle for us and they've always come first .
I have a one wish to marry my partner of 25 years on a cruise and take my family with me but that seems impossible at the minute , because of my illness I'm on sick from work and money is tight . I don't like to feel that I'm begging but hoping someone out there could make this wish come true or put me in touch with a charity that could help . I can only dream that I leave my partner children and grandchildren with some happy memories of us all together and knowing my wish came true !
Thank you very much for your help.
This is probably a long shot but worth a try. A dear dear friend of mine and work colleague Derek has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He has been given about 6 months to live. It is a very sad time and I have been trying to think of what to do for him to make his last few memories special.
He went to a John Newman concert a few months ago and raved about it. He is in his 50's so we all teased him that he had now 'got cool' listening to trendy music and going to gigs. Since the concert he became a massive fan, always on YouTube and listening to the songs.
I just wondered if there was anything I can book and pay for of course, such as a meeting in Huddersfield where Derek lives, a phone call for him, video recoding or even a signed photograph or message?
I know it would mean the world to Derek. He's a grumpy bugger at times but a sensitive sole and news of his cancer has shaken him terribly.
We has a workplace could club together to get the funds for this special gift if needed.
I appreciate that John is a busy man but even a second of his time would just be amazing!
I await your response and thank you in advance for any help you can give.
My 62 year old mother has dementia and has for 22 years , me , my brother an sister have helped care for her for most of this time with the help of carers and social services .
Recently she became very ill and was admitted to hospital where we found out she had pneumonia and literately took a turn for the worst . We was ask to sign forms that we had never seen before about resuscitation and how we would feel about giving up her organs if mum did past on. But in our hearts we knew she'd pull through so refused to sign anything . After 2 months of ups and downs the hospital discharged her but on the understanding that mum wouldn't have long left and was at our risk to take her home , but mum wanted to come home an be with her family and we take pleasure in knowing that she's cared for properly by the ones who love her the most . She also has dysphasia which means she can't eat or drink anything like us normal people, it all has to be purified and still goes into her lungs instead of in her stomach .
So potentially everything were giving her to eat and drink is slowly killing her and there's nothing we can do about it . We're not asking much but my mums dying wish is to see Michael flatly the river dance guy :) mum loves him . And for me my sister and brother to be happy . She's never asked for much and to give this to her would be a god send and would make her life . We'd be very grateful if you could help fulfil her dream .
Thank you very much .
Hollie
Many Thanks
Emma Reeman
I am 58, have 3 daughters and have been married for 33 years. I have been diagnoses with Stage 4 desmoplastic invasive melanoma. I have a prognosis of 6-12 months. My medications are very expensive and I know am faced with having to sell my house with no place to go to live as we can't afford rent. We are looking for an angel donor that would pay our mortgage so we would have a place to live. I know God has given people the assets and urgency to help others with what they have been given so I am hoping this gets to one of those persons. I have had to quit work and my husband is also disabled with a disease similar to multiple sclerosis. I have also lost my self esteem and hope as it seems everything is being taken away. My faith and family have kept me going.
I am 50, have 2 lovely sons and have been married for 27 years. I was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had my right kidney removed. Unfortunately it has now spread to my chest and abdomen and has been diagnosed as been terminal.
I lost my job, my house, my self esteem and nearly my hope. It is only because of my beautiful wife who left her own job and become my full time carer that I am still here.
We have never been wealthy or had a big house, just a terraced house and our kids but this disease has took everything.
The only thing I would like to do is to take my wife back to Greece for a holiday just the 2 of us. We will never be able to afford it with our very limited income but to take her back to Rhodes would give us both a memory that we can keep until the end.
I don't know when the end will be, that's the hardest part. But before it does come can anyone help me?
I can say no more than thank you for reading this and help me or not, never remember to love your closest ones because you never know when you will lose them.
All my love and keep smiling at least once a day.
Thank You,
Charleen Entrop
She has just had her 64th birthday and in the last 4 years has lost her leg and been diagnosed with small cell cancer in her oesophagus which has spread rapidly. She has had no quality of life in these last 4 years and 5 days before her most recent birthday was told that she had the dreaded "6 months" and is lucky to be here at all.
The cruise still has not happened, is there any organisation that would be able to help in any qay with her last wish of going on the cruise she missed out on?
How do I live - or die - knowing this?
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